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Boy Scout Troop 215 Anderson, SCSponsored by First Presbyterian Church of Anderson, South Carolina A Scouting Tradition Since 1928 |
Skits & Songs |
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The Source for the skits on this web page is "The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits". If you wish to have a copy of the original source material that can be downloaded and printed for your Scouting Unit (112 printed pages). Please click on the link below.
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7-Scouts
acts as the pilot, co-pilot and radioman on an airliner. 4 other scouts are on
the wings as the engines, on the wings of the plane.
The pilot
announces to co-pilot that engine one has failed. Engine one (ham this up)
sputters, makes noise and dies, Co-pilot instructs radioman to inform tower and
tell them they will be arriving 15 minutes late (radioman radios tower and
repeats message). Soon after engine two fails, repeat the process again but this
time tell the tower they will be 30 minutes late. Then engine three with more
panic tell the tower we will be 1 hour late. Finally, the pilot announces the
fourth and final engine has failed. The radioman then says: "Boys I'd
better radio the tower, we may be up here all day!"
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast: 2
scouts (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound
effects and actions. Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if
required and a compass.
Announcer:
This scene is on board a very low budget airline.
Pilot: Well,
are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ? Co-Pilot: (peering out the window)
I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring
'er around and have a look. Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I
can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments. Co-Pilot:
(pulling compass from pocket)
Oh, I've got
my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to
be on course.
(Excited) Look,
see that spot down there, that must be it. Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20
degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)
Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines.
(Louder) More flaps, less throttle ! Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds,
acting panicky.)
Pilot:
QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES ! Both: (Sighs of relief)
We're down, we made it !
Pilot: Boy
that was a short runway ! Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide
too !
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Narrator:
Rider:
(enters pulling the burro) "Come on Speedy, those Cub Scouts at Southside
are waiting for their Male.
Narrator:
"Excuse me sir? Why do you call your burro Speedy?
Rider: Why,
this here is the fastest burro in the west.
Narrator:
"How fast is he?"
Rider:
"Why, he's so fast he can dance his shoes off! (Burro dances, and removes
his shoes and tosses them into the crowd and they leave.)
Narrator:
And there's always the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It's really quite unlikely
that he could sleep for forty whole years.
Rip Van W.:
(entering) Sleep? Did I hear someone mention sleep. Oh, I'd love to get some
sleep!
Narrator:
Have a hard day Rip?
Rip Van W.:
Day, day he says! Days is more like it. Ever since those Cub Scouts came to
town, I haven't slept a wink. Their Den Leaders keep knocking things over and
tripping over things. And you should hear them laugh.
Narrator:
Poor Rip, I guess he could use forty years sleep now.
Chef:
(entering eating an ice cream cone, and looking over and under and around
things, saying...."Nope, not here, etc. and "I know it's around here
somewhere." Continuing to look.)
Narrator:
Boy that ice cream looks good. Where can I get some?
Chef: Down
the road at Custard's Last Stand.
Narrator:
What are you looking for?
Chef: A
mine.
Narrator:
You mean the Lost Dutchman Mine?
Chef: No the
lost Italian Mine of course. I hear they have the greatest pizza.
Narrator:
There was a guy over there who was talking about pizza earlier. I think his
name was Wild
Bill.....(hiccup)
Wild Bill........(hiccup)....
Chef: Yeah,
I know him, Wild Bill Hiccup - Hiccup...(leave the room)
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Characters:
6 to 8 Cub Scouts
Props: Paper
sacks
Setting:
Skit opens with boys standing together in a backyard. Cardboard cutout trees
and bushes could be used.
1st Cub:
Gee, there's nothing to do.
2nd Cub:
Yeah, I know.
3rd Cub:
Hey, let's have a backyard picnic.
All: Yeah!
4th Cub: But
it's going to rain.
1st Cub: I
don't think so. If it does, we can eat in the house.
2nd Cub:
I'll bring the potato chips.
3rd Cub:
I'll bring the hot dogs.
4th Cub:
I'll bring the hot dog buns.
5th Cub:
I'll bring the drinks.
6th Cub: And
I'll bring something special!
(All walk
offstage and come back carrying sacks)
2nd Cub:
Here are the chips.
3rd Cub:
Here are the hot dogs.
4th Cub:
Here are the hot dog buns.
5th Cub:
Here are the drinks.
6th Cub:
(Drops his sack) Oh, no!
5th Cub:
What's wrong?
6th Cub: I
brought the ants!!
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
The scene is
an art show where judges are inspecting several canvases on displayed. They
comment on the brightness, color, technique, that is used on the different
pictures. They select one for the prize and comment additionally on the genius,
imagination, and the beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the
winning picture is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness,
that got in by mistake. That's the canvas that I clean my brushes on."
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Important
Guy: "OK, Aug, I want you to sell these pencils."
Aug:
"Pen-Solls"
Important
Guy: "That's right, Aug. Now, when you see someone coming down the street,
I want
you to tell
them what you're selling."
Aug:
"Pen-Solls"
Important
Guy: "Yes, Aug. Be more enthusiastic about it!"
Aug, waving
his hands in the air: "Pen-Solls!!!"
Important
Guy: "Very good, Aug. Now, people will want to buy your pencils, and
they'll ask how much they are. They come in $2, $5, and $10 packs. Got
that?"
Aug:
"Pen-Solls?"
Important
Guy: "No: Two, Five, Ten."
Aug:
"Two .. Five ... Ten!!!"
Important
Guy: "I think you've got that. Now Aug, one more thing. Someone might ask
why they should buy your pencils. If they ask that, Aug, I want you to tell
them this. 'If you don't, somebody else will'".
Aug:
"If you don't ... somebody else will!"
Important
Guy: "Very good. Now, get out there and sell pencils!"
The
important guy wanders offstage, and Aug wanders to the other side of the stage.
A man on the street approaches Aug. Aug runs to him waving his hands.
Aug, in his
face: "Pen-Solls!!!"
Man on
street: "Hey, you're a real jerk! How many people have you done this
to?"
Aug:
"Two, Five, Ten!"
Man on
steed: "You're really asking for a punch in the mouth, buddy."
Aug:
"If you don't .. somebody else will!"
Man on
street punches Aug, who falls flat, that's the end of the skit.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast:
Doctor, three Dads
Setting:
Hospital
Doctor: Mr.
Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins!
Thompson:
What a coincidence -- I come from
Later --
Doctor: Mr.
Smith, you now have triplets!
Smith:
That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers!
Third father
faints; doctor revives him.
Doctor: Mr.
Smart -- what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet!
Smart: I
come from
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Two scouts
lay down on sleeping bags on the stage. Two other scouts, pretending to be
bikers "ride" over to
one of the
scouts who is on top of the bag and proceed to beat him up. They do anything
they want to make it
look like
they have hurt him. They see him moving and "ride" off.
The scout
who just got beat up turns to his buddy and says, "Two bikers just came
through the woods and
beat me
up." His buddy turns to him and says, "It was just a dream, go back
to sleep."
This happens
two more times, with the bikers beating up the guy, but on the third time,
something different
happens. The
guy who gets beat up turns to his buddy and tells him what happened again. This
time his friend
says,
"Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."
Now the
bikers come back and go up to the same sleeping bag again, and one turns to the
other and says,
"This
guy's had enough, let's get the other guy."
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Akela:
"Now, (Cubs name), you know you should always do Good Turns."
1st Cub: I
tried, honest!
Akela: OK
Each Cub
enters and says similar things to Akela
Last Cub:
(carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good
turn! (flips pancake over and catches
it in pan).
But you should see the mess in the kitchen! (other Cubs look ashamed)
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
The players
in the orchestra each hold a balloon. They blow up their balloons in unison,
then let out the air in
a squeak at
a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue Danube"
or "Jingle Bells". To
end the skit
all fill their balloons with air and let go at the directors signal.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
This is
great fun in warm weather at a campfire, and it takes a little practice for the
perpetrators. There is
plenty of
room for variation, depending on what the Scouts can imagine and how the volunteers
react at the time.
As usual,
the Scapegoat gets wet.
Preparation
You will
need an Announcer and a Pitcher, but the Batters will be volunteers. The first
Volunteer should be
told what is
happening ahead of time, so that his performance shows others how it's done.
Set up a sheet a
backdrop.
Two Scouts hide behind it, one with a flashlight and the other with a bucket of
water (but be sure that
the audience
does not see the bucket). The flashlight is held against the sheet to simulate
the ball. The
movement of
the light is the key to the whole skit.
A baseball
bat or a thick stick is needed for the batter, and a baseball glove for the
Pitcher. Use a roll of
canvas and a
stick (or something similar) to simulate the sound of the ball hitting the
catcher's glove (done by a
Scout behind
the sheet). If it is dark, have two strong flashlights shining on the Pitcher
and Batter.
The Skit
The
Announcer comes on stage and tells the audience that there will be a baseball
pitching demonstration.
He
introduces the Pitcher as the greatest pitcher of all time, who will show us
his famous specialty pitches. After a
buildup
about how great the Pitcher is, the Announcer positions the Pitcher at one end
of the sheet.
The
Announcer asks for members of the audience to volunteer to try to hit this
famous pitcher's best pitches.
The first
volunteer is given the bat and placed at the other end of the sheet. The
Announcer explains that the
Pitcher will
throw one pitch, and the Batter must do his best to hit the ball.
The Pitcher
winds up and pretends to throw, as the Announcer narrates ("He's set. He
winds up. There's the
pitch!"
The Scout behind the screen moves his light rapidly down the sheet. The
Announcer yells, "Fast ball!"
The Batter
swings hard. We hear the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. The
Announcer says, "A strike!
You're
Out!" The Batter returns to his seat.
Another
Batter is recruited. This time the Announcer calls out a curve ball, which
curves wildly across the
sheet. The
Batter is again called out. The process continues with a knuckleball and a
screwball.
Finally, the
Announcer introduces the famous Pitcher's dreaded Secret Pitch. He asks for a
special volunteer,
of
especially outstanding baseball ability and unusual courage, to try to hit this
pitch. A Scapegoat is volunteered
by the
Announcer and encouraged to come up.
The Batter
is carefully placed, and the ball is pitched. As it comes to the Batter, the
Announcer cries, "Watch
out! It's a
spitball!"
His warning
comes too late, as water cascades over the sheet onto the Batter.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast: Bear,
two hunters
Setting: The
woods
#1:
(Whispering) Ah! There's a bear! I can shoot it and I'll have my take for the
day! (Bang! And the bear
falls down.)
Well, I'll go get some rope to drag it.
#2: No! It's
mine!
#1: Hey! I
shot that bear myself. It's clearly mine.
#2: Look.
You couldn't have shot that bear if I didn't drive us here.
#1: Well,
I've got news for you. I just killed that bear. It's mine.
#2: And another
thing, ...
The two
continue arguing when all of a sudden, the bear rises, growls, and frightens
the two hunters away.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
1st Scout
"OOOOOUCH, OOOOOOH, OOOOOUCH"
2nd Scout
"What's the matter with you?"
1st Scout
"A bee's stung my thumb!"
2nd Scout
"Try putting some cream on it then."
1st Scout
"But the bee will be miles away by this time."
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast:
Actor(s), Director, Cameraman, Others in a studio
Setting:
Studio
Director:
Okay, People! Let's get going!
Cameraman:
But Sir!
Director: No
interruptions! Action!
Actor,
speaking in a dull voice, does a commercial for Scout Root Beer, talking about
its great taste, made
from
dishwater and leftover porridge, and lots of the special ingredient, "Hop
to it," which the Scout leader often
said, from
Scout camp when ...
Director:
Cut! That sounded like you don't like the stuff! Sound sincere!
Okay! Let's
try it again!
Cameraman:
But Sir!
Director: No
buts! Action!
Actor begins
again, appropriately sincere, and there are the usual interruptions by the
director, saying it's too
fast, too
slow, whispers into the actor's ear (who then checks his zipper) until finally,
everything goes smoothly. All
the while,
the Cameraman keeps on interrupting the Director at the same time.
Director:
Cut! And Print! That was fantastic! Let's get out of here!
Cameraman:
But Sir! We don't have any film!
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Version
1:
Props: Coat
with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick
for Gendarme.
Announcer:
The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the
Paris Times for
someone to
come and learn how to ring the bells.
Effects:
(Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback:
(Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see.
(Goes 'round
and 'round
the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)
Effects :
(Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback:
(Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and
opens the door.)
Hunchback:
Yeah ! What do you want ?
Applicant:
I'm here about the bell ringer's job.
Hunchback:
All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up
(the other way around)
followed by
the applicant.)
Applicant:
Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?
Hunchback:
Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you
just learn to stay
bent over.
Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?
Applicant: I
don't know. I don't remember.
Hunchback:
Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill.
(Both turn around
and go
back.)
Hunchback:
That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these
stairs, that's the
hard part.
(Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.
Applicant:
(Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?
Hunchback:
(Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy
you ear plugs
every six
months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year (Finally arriving at the
bell) All right, now you stand
over there,
and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out
very hard (steps back and
follows path
of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is
to it. Do you think you
can do that
?
Applicant:
Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell
and falls back, to the
ground)
Hunchback:
Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there.
(Goes 'round and
'round until
he reaches the ground)
(Crowd
enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme :
(Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body
over with foot)
Hunchback:
No, but his face sure rings a bell !
Version
2:
(The trick
with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do
everything exactly the same -
perhaps with
a little more 'hamming it up')
(When the
Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)
Hunchback:
You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant:
Oh, that was my twin brother.
(Revert to
the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and
prepare itself for a
'groaner' of
a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)
(Carry on
with dialog, except for the last line.)
Hunchback:
No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday !
Version
3:
(To be used
ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)
Props: Rain
slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.
(Two players
enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig
and jog around
the
performing area.)
Gendarme :
(Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1:
Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we
came to catch him !
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
First scout
walks to center of stage, stands to attention, salutes and says, "BE
PREPARED." This is repeated
by three
other scouts. When they are all standing side by side, a loud motor horn or
explosion is let off behind the
audience.
The scouts
then all say, 'WE TOLD YOU TO BE PREPARED'
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
17. The Best Spitter In The World
The key
performer is the Catcher, who must wave around a can of water without spilling.
He simulates the
spit hitting
the can by tapping on the can with his finger. He will need to practice so that
he does not spill, does not
show the
audience that there is water in the can, and can be heard but not seen when he
taps the can.
The catcher
sits quietly in the audience. The can of water is on the stage, but not
obvious.
A Scout
loudly proclaims himself as The Best Spitter In The World. He boasts about his
spitting ability, saying
that he can
spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, who have been planted at the back
of the audience,
challenge
him to prove it, saying that they do not believe him. The audience takes up the
cry.
The Spitter
agrees and asks for someone from the audience to catch for him, just to prove
his ability. The
Catcher
volunteers, acting as if he expects to be the scapegoat.
The Spitter
explains that he will stand about 20 feet apart. He will spit, and the Catcher
will catch the spit, just
to prove the
distance and accuracy. The Catcher reacts with horror, "I'm not going to
touch your spit!" The Spitter
is
understanding, notices the can, and offers it as something to catch with. The
Catcher agrees with obvious
relief.
They set up
a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up
and catches with
a solid
thump.
The Spitter
takes a bow, but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, do
something
harder. They
back off and repeat the performance from a greater distance. Again, the
audience yells at him.
After
several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the
world! The audience reaction is
predictable.
They set up; the Spitter spits; the Catcher ducks, waits, moves the pan around,
and catches it.
Now the
planted Scouts yell that the Spitter is a fake! They say that he couldn't
really spit all around the world.
The Spitter
says, "Oh, yeah? Show them."
The Catcher
turns and throws the water into the crowd.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast: 2
Scouts
There are
two scouts, they each say, "I'm the better thief."
"No I'm
the better thief."
Then one
says, "Wait, lets have a contest, we will walk past each other three times
and who ever steals the
best thing
wins."
The scouts
then walk past each other twice pulling out objects such as knife, watch,
glasses, etc.
Finally on
the third pass, the first scout says, "I've got your wallet, ha, beat
that!"
The second
Scout looks around nervously then says, "You've got my wallet, well in
that case you would win,
but ... I've
got you're underwear!" And waves a pair of shorts in the air.
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
(The scene
begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.)
Shop Owner:
Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.
Customer :
(Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner:
Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?
(Customer
sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the
third is too small.)
Customer : I
sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner:
Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are, it's all set up again.
(Customer sits on it, and
again it
falls down.)
Customer : I
don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's
not made well enough.
Shop Owner:
Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it
may need a little
adjustment.
Let me get some help.
(A volunteer
is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now
upright bicycle.)
Customer :
(Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem ?
Shop Owner:
Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
with. The
first starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very
powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever.
Two others
come over who have overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the
hunters going after wolves
or moose.
One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going after
mosquitoes!!"
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 1 through 20
Cast: Guy, 4
People on lunch break
Setting:
Park Bench
Guy is
sitting on park bench.
Guy: I'm waiting
for my girlfriend. I hope she comes soon.
(Luncher #1
sits on bench and moves him over. #2 sits on end and they move over, further
pushing guy. #3
comes, and
#4 comes, each in turn pushing the guy a little until he falls off. Really
annoyed, he starts to scratch
himself a
little, then a little more then all over. Lunchers look at each other, start
scratching a little bit then
hurriedly
leave.)
Guy:
(Sitting on bench again) Works all the time!
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 21 through 40
A simple,
one person skit that is great for those loose moments in a campfire.
Cast: 1 Person,
log (or imaginary mower), "Volunteer," Victim
Person:
(Groans and grunts as he's bent over carrying "heavy" mower.) Uhh.
(Lets it down.) These old
models, I
tell you. They are so heavy, and they don't work well. Maybe I should buy a new
mower this week.
Well, let's
get going. (Pulls rip cord to start, but it won't start. Makes appropriate
sputtering noises. Tries again
and again.
Maybe get a "volunteer" to help. Again, no success. Get your victim
to try, and on first try, it sputters
to great
life!) I guess it just needed a bigger jerk!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
An
alternate ending follows the regular skit.
Cast: Box or
suitable covering, Person in Box, Announcer, Victim, regular and serving
spoons, stick and log,
paper and
book, rubber chicken, small cue card
Setting:
Circus, Boardwalk, Technology Show
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen! To demonstrate my enlarging machine, I will need a
volunteer! (Get your
victim.) I
need you to help me while I explain what is going on. Now, look at what this
machine can do! Please,
will you put
this spoon into the machine? (He does, and out comes the serving spoon,
noises.) Isn't that amazing,
ladies and
gentlemen! Now watch. (Victim puts in stick, and log comes out.) My goodness,
something to heat
your home
with! This is amazing! And please put in this piece of paper. (Book comes out.)
Even I am amazed!
(Finally,
chicken is put in, and say you expect a turkey to come out. But cue card comes
out.) This is amazing!
The machine
says that the biggest turkey of them all is right here!
An alternate
ending is to complain about how slowly the machine is working, and it needs to
be washed. The
operator
throws a small cup of water on the side, and a moment later a large bucket of
water hits him.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
There are
several Black Bart skits, all revolving around the basic plot of the hero
chasing Black Bart. The hero
and BB come
face to face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the
anticlimactic line of: "You
get the ping
pong ball and I'll get the paddles and I'll meet you in five minutes." Or
"Oh, all right, Black Bart, you
use that one
and I'll use the one upstairs." Use the latter one when BB is trapped in
some room.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
This takes
about six guys, who form a circle around an invisible blanket, with a small
invisible guy (Bruce) who
sits in the
middle of the invisible blanket and gets tossed.
"We're
an Olympic blanket tossing team, and Bruce in the middle here is our star
blanket bouncer. We'll toss
Bruce a bit
just to warm up. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!"
On three
each time, the team lets the pretend blanket go slack, then pull it taught.
They watch the invisible
Bruce go up
in the air, then come down, and the gently catch him again in the blanket. Each
time they toss him
higher. The
team has to be in sync, and they have to watch about the same spot -- the
easiest way to do this is to
have
everyone just imitate the leader, who is the speaker.
"OK,
we're all limbered up now?" The team murmurs in agreement. "Then
let's toss Bruce a bit higher. One,
two,
three!"
Bruce comes
up, and the team adjusts their position a bit to catch him as he comes down.
"One,
two, three!" This wait about ten seconds, and move quite a bit to get
under him. Move this way and that
before
finally catching him.
"One,
two, three!" twenty seconds this time, almost lose track of him, adjust
the position here, there, and here
again.
"What?
What's that you say, Bruce?" pause "Audience, you are in luck! Bruce
wants to go for the world record
blanket
toss! Ready team? One! Two! Thu-reee!!!" A mighty toss! The team shifts
positions, like trying to catch a
high fly
ball. "There he goes! He's past the trees! He's really up there!"
pause, looking hard into the sky "Do you
see him?
I've lost him. Where'd he go?" another pause "Oh well." The team
leaves the stage, and the program
continues.
After
another skit and song, and preferably in the middle of awards or announcements
of some sort, "Bruce!
Quick
team!" The blanket tossing team runs back on stage, positions themselves
this way and that, and catches
Bruce.
"Let's have a big hand for Bruce! Yay!!!"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Recruit
three or four volunteers and blindfold each one. Have the volunteers stand in
front of the audience
and instruct
them to take off anything they have on. The smart ones will remove their
blindfold, but those caught
up in the
joke will continue to remove items. Continue with those remaining one item at a
time, until it borders on
indecency.
Then remove the blindfold and let them in on the joke
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
A leader
begins to explain how to lay a campfire. The leader decides to use members of
the audience to
represent
different pieces of wood. The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers.
Some of the volunteers are
bunched in
the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big"
logs stacked on top of each other in
increasing
larger sizes. The leader then says that the fire is ready to light, strikes a
match, whereupon, several
accomplices
yell out that its ON FIRE and dash several buckets of water on the fire.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
A
variation on The Ghost of
Cast: Border
Guard, Supervisor, Several Crossers, 2 Brooms
Guard: Hi,
Boss! I'm new here! What do I do?
Supervisor:
Well, you have to make sure that people don't try to cross the border without
stopping first. You
can shoot at
them if you have to.
Guard: With
what?
Supervisor:
Well, we're out of guns, so here's a broom. People won't know the difference if
you just go Bang!
Bang! Bang!
Guard: OK.
(He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots
at him. The
crosser
falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!
Supervisor:
See? I told you. Now whenever it doesn't work, here's a pretend bayonet. If
they don't fall from
the fake
gun, you can always try stabbing them.
Guard: OK.
(He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots
at him. It
doesn't
work, so he tries stabbing him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!
Supervisor:
See? I told you. Now go to work and don't stop until your shift is finished.
Guard: OK.
(He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots
at him. It
doesn't
work, so he tries stabbing him. It doesn't work either.) Boss! Boss! What do I
do?
Before boss
answers, crosser points a broom at the guard and goes Bang! Bang! Bang! and the
guard falls.
Cast:
Customer, Shopkeeper
Setting:
Brain Shop
Customer: Hi!
I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new
personality.
Shopkeeper:
(In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this
brain from Billy
Customer:
(In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marrrvelous. But I
don't think it's me. Can I try
another?
Shopkeeper:
Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from
Captain Kirk.
Only $5000.
Customer:
(In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous
for me.
Shopkeeper:
Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from
Ronald Reagan.
It only
costs $5000. How do you feel?
Customer:
(In Ronald Reagan style voice) Well ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this
one's still a bit too
famous for
me.
Shopkeeper:
Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back.
(Customer
comments on
the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we
are. The best in the
house, not
famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.)
Customer:
(Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the
sign and calling out
"PACK!"
or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this
is good. But I recognize it.
No, wait ...
it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those
three famous people only cost
$5000
apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person.
Why does it cost
$15000?
Shopkeeper:
Well, it's never been used!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
A group
Scout goes to a new Scientific Laboratory where they have developed a new
process for brain
transplants.
The Scouts asks to see the selection of brains. The doctor shows them a
selection. (the brains may
be in cans,
where they look in it). The first one is marked $500.00. The scouts ask about
it and are told it is the
brain from a
peddler. The next $1,000.00,-a policeman, 1,500.00 - a teacher, etc up to
$5,000.00 for the brain of
the greatest
physicist in the world. The Scouts then see a container marked, $20,000.00 and
ask about it. The
doctor
explains "It is the brain from ____________ (Cubmaster or Den Leader) and
has never been used!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Scene: A
person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A
second person will enter
The second
person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.
1. Person 2
walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.
Reply:
"I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.
2. Enters
again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking
my case to a higher court"
3. This
time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts
his case on them.
"I rest
my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about
it).
4. Final
entry, without a case: "I lost my case"
This can
of course be expanded. Seen in a variety show with many other things happening
(mostly knock knock
jokes) in
turn. Can be good when done properly.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
This skit
has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older sections (Scouts and
higher) and leaders,
particularly
in an all-sections campfire. It is best presented near the end of the campfire,
when things are winding
down (and
the children have settled down).
People
required for the Skit: 6
Cast:
Old Man with
a Staff
Spirit of
the Beaver
Spirit of
the Wolf Cub
Spirit of
the Scout
Spirit of
adventure
Spirit of
the Rover
(fewer
people may be used by doubling up on roles)
Skit Setup:
Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each
role. (Small Flashlight
recommended!)
The Old Man
is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly with his staff. He is slightly
hunched over with age
and leans on
the staff heavily.
The Scouting
Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just far enough back not
to be seen. (They
should speak
loud and clearly).
NOTE: When
the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be 2-3
seconds of silence
before the
Spirits speak.
(The
memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group, so they
have relevance to the
audience and
can feel the full impact of the skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for
ideas.)
The Skit:
OLD MAN
(Shuffling slowly around the campfire). "My life has been long, too long,
and my Scouting years are
behind me.
My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and Alone."
(Stops and stares into the fire)
ALL SPIRITS:
"SHARING"
SPIRIT OF
THE BEAVER: "I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught
you Sharing and
Caring for
the World."
OLD MAN
(Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire). <Beaver Memory> e.g.
"Beavers. I remember
Beavers.
Riverbanks and the Beaver Pond, making crafts to take home to Mom..."
<etc.> (The Old Man stops
again and
stares into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS:
"A-Ke-Lah"
SPIRIT OF
THE WOLF CUB: "I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your
best, I led your Pack
through the
forest and you lived by My Law."
OLD MAN
(Resumes shuffling around the campfire). <Cub Memory> e.g. "Cubs. I
remember Cubs. Hot Dog
roasts in
the bush, my first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar races..."
<etc>. (The Old Man stops again
and stares
into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS:
"On My Honor"
SPIRIT OF
THE SCOUT: "I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to
camp without a trace,
and together
we explored the land."
OLD MAN
(Resumes shuffling around the circle). <Scout Memory> e.g. "Scouts.
I remember Scouts. Long
hikes and
long camps, breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And then there was
Jamboree..." <etc.> (Stops
and stares
into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS:
"Challenge"
SPIRIT OF
ADVENTURE: "I am the Spirit of adventure. I taught you leadership and set
you free, to test your
limits to
the skies."
OLD MAN
(Resumes shuffling around the fire). <Venturer Memory> e.g. "Oh,
yes, Venturers. Attending
Jamboree as
a Hikemaster, leading people from around the world into the
and trying
to date Rangers..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire)
ALL SPIRITS:
"Service"
SPIRIT OF
THE ROVER: "I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and
self-destiny. We chose to
give back
the love we were given through Service."
OLD MAN
(Resumes shuffling). <Rover Memory> e.g. "Rovers. I could never
forget Rovers. Helping out at
Dream-On,
putting on District campfires. And then there were the Moots and Road trips.
And camps, camps,
camps."
(Slows down and begins to sink to the ground. He is dying.)
ALL SPIRITS
(Walk straight into the campfire circle from where they stand, if possible.
They should all arrive
at the Old
Man's body at the same time. Wait a moment or two.)
"We are
the brotherhood of Scouting". <Each section says its name in order -
BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS,
VENTURERS,
ROVERS.> "If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
33. The Bubble Gum on the Street
Cast: Kid,
Dog, Basketball Player, Car, Jogger and Old Man
Setting:
Kid: Blowing
bubbles is just great. Watch. (Blows imaginary bubble; it pops and lands
somewhere on the
ground.)
Hmm. Where did it go? I should look for it. (Goes around and exits, still
looking for it.)
Enter dog,
who stops, sniffs at gum, pees on it, and exits. Basketball player is dribbling
ball when it gets stuck
on the gum
-- he tries to loosen it and finally does. Car drives right over it. Jogger
goes by, his foot gets stuck on
it; old man
comes by and his cane gets stuck on it. Finally, Kid comes back.
Kid: Ahh!
There's my piece of gum! (Picks it up, pops it in his mouth and continues
chewing.)
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 21 through 40
34. The Bubble Gum in the Studios
A quick,
2-person skit you can use to fill a moment when a six or patrol isn't ready
(but should be.)
Cast:
Announcer, Boy
Setting:
Stage
Announcer:
Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the world famous WHEEL OF FISH! (Boy comes
crawling
onto stage.)
I say, young man, what are you doing down there?
Boy:
(Looking up) I'm looking for my bubble gum!
Announcer:
Well, where did you lose it?
Boy:
Backstage!
Announcer:
Then why look here?
Boy: The
lighting is better here!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
These are a
variation of the popular elephant jokes. They can be set up with two boys for
each "joke".
Cub 1: How
can you tell if a buffalo is under your bedroll?
Cub 2: The
ceiling of your tent is very close.
Cub 3: Did
you know buffaloes are originally from
Cub 4: You
mean like in the song " Oh where is the home for the buffaloes --
Cub 5: What
do you find between the hooves of buffaloes?
Cub 6: Slow
buffalo hunters.
Cub 7: What
do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo?
Cub 8: You
either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the
roof of your mouth.
Cub 9: How
can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse?
Cub 10: Try
to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse.
Cub 11: How
can you tell a buffalo has been in the refrigerator?
Cub 12: His
hoof prints are in the jello.
Cub 13: How
can you tell when there are two buffaloes in your refrigerator?
Cub 14: You
can't shut the door.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Cast:
Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"
Setting: Bus
Bus driver
drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off
the bus, holding
their noses,
telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the
bus, until finally only Stinky
and the
Driver are left on the bus.
Driver:
(Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it?
(Smells something
awful.) Hmm.
Something smells -- it must be you.
Did you wash
this morning?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Hmm.
Deodorant?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Hmm.
Clean shirt?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver:
Clean underwear?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver:
Change your socks?
Stinky:
Sure! Here are the old ones!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
The first
Scout comes out walking around, he suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the
ground. Two other
scouts come
in talking about just completing their first aid merit badge and find the scout
on the ground. They
rush to his
aid and begin C.P.R.. Adjust head, listen, feel for pulse and then begin (fake)
compressions. The
other scout
counts. After about 3 sets, the other scout yells "switch". Suddenly
the scout on the ground gets up,
one of the
two scouts lies down, and they begin again to administer C.P.R.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
A Scout
dressed in a turban enters the campfire circle. He places a blanket on the
ground, kneels and begins
to pry. He
prays by bowing down and with his arms out-stretched, he chant "Oh Allah,
bring me a camel." Repeat
a number of
times, and then he looks under the blanket. He shakes his head sadly and asks
for a volunteer to
help him.
The two kneel and pray to Allah for a camel. Again the first scout looks under
the blanket and finds
nothing. He
continues to recruit volunteers two or three at a time, each time praying for a
camel. (if the volunteers
are not
really helping then egg them on.) When there is no more room on the blanket for
volunteers the first scouts
stand and
says: "Allah hasn't sent me a camel, but he has sent me a lot of silly
jackasses!"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Props: A
large cooking pot and mugs for actors
1st Scout-
(Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips
for a drink) "This
camp coffee
is getting worse".
2nd Scout-
(Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips
for a drink) "This
camp tea is
getting worse".
3rd Scout-
(Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips
for a drink) "This
camp hot
chocolate is getting worse".
4th Scout-
(Walks up to pot, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he
wrings them out he
says)
"I thought that would get them clean!"
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Cast: 2
People, campfire blanket
Have one
person lie down on his back and the other kneel directly over him. The top
person wears the
campfire
blanket so as to hide his legs and expose the legs of the person lying down, to
create the effect of it
being one
person sitting down.
Person: Hi
there! Welcome to Don's House of Fine Exercises and Sports Medicine. Today I'm
going to ask
you about
your regular stretching routine. Can you do this? (Lifts up a leg so that it's
parallel with the chest.) Or
this? (Lifts
other leg.) And how about this? (Crosses the legs.) This is an unusual one. Can
you do it? (Brings
feet around
the neck.) And let's not forget this one. Can you do it? (Stretches out the
legs in spread eagle
fashion in
the air.) (Elicit a no answer from a volunteer.) Well, neither can I! (Stands
up.)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 21 through 40
Ask for two
volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.
A customer
comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered
cherries. Peanut
brittle?
Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um,
well, not today. Licorice? Fresh
out of
licorice.
Well, what
do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
This one
can be really hammed up and included the kid walking up in a dance kind of way
and the old
storekeeper,
being old, very laboriously climbing up a ladder, getting the candy jar, coming
down, counting out the
candies,
and so on.
Cast: Old
storekeeper, very young kid (4 years old)
Setting: A
Candy Store
Kid: (Kid
walks up to storekeeper and asks) I want five of those Penney candies way up at
the top.
Storekeeper:
You mean those Penney candies, way, way, waaaaaayy up top?
Kid: Yes,
please.
Storekeeper:
Sigh! (Kid takes innocent pleasure in watching the storekeeper go up.)
Storekeeper
climbs up and get him five candies, and receives the five cents.
This scene
repeats itself several times over 3 more days, with the storekeeper being more
and more tired
each time
and becoming equally more frustrated until,
Storekeeper:
Oh! I see that kid coming. I know what he's coming to get, so I'll climb up now
to get the
candies
before he comes in and have it ready for him. (Kid walks in.) I bet I know what
you want. I bet you want
five of the
Penney candies from way up top, right?
Kid: Nope!
Not today!
Storekeeper:
Sigh! Now I have to climb back up to put them away. (He climbs up, puts them
away, then
comes down.)
Now, sonny, what would you like today?
Kid: I would
like three of those Penney candies way up at the top!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Version
1:
The leader
gives instructions for playing candy store. He asks that one person take a long
string and hold on
and then
adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then
the leader explains that this
is a candy
store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.
Version
2:
A candy
store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to
hold the pole,
draping a
blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one
customers come in asking
for
different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any.
Finally, a customer asks what he
does have.
The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two suckers on
a stick, pulling the
blanket away
at the same time.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Have the
boys march in, single file, with one boy leading them like a drill sergeant.
The sergeant tells them to
stop and
addresses them. He tells them he has some good news and some bad news. The good
news is that
they get a
change of underwear. The boys cheer and he cuts them off. The bad news is that
they have to change
underwear
with one another. The boys groan.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
You will
need: 5 Cub Scouts, props should include a lamppost, park bench, tree.
Scene: Park
area, Cub Scouts walk on one at a time. This is a pantomime skit and is great
to use with
younger Cub
Scouts and shy boys.
One CUB
walks on stage chewing imaginary gum (use exaggerated motions- chewing, blowing
bubbles,
pulling gum
out of mouth, putting it back in), leans against lamppost for a bit, takes gum
out of his mouth and
sticks it to
the lamppost. He then walks off stage. Second CUB comes on stage, leans against
lamppost, feels
gum stick,
pulls the gum off and sticks gum to bench. Second CUB exits. Third CUB enters
and sits on bench.
Notice gum,
pulls it off himself and throws it to the ground. Fourth CUB walks on stage,
steps in gum, removes
gum from
shoe and sticks it to tree. Exits. Fifth CUB enters, leans against tree and
finds gum. Removes gum
from tree
and sticks it on the lamppost. First CUB enters again. Walks up to lamppost,
finds gum and sticks it
back in his
mouth. Walks off stage chewing gum.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Performers
arrange themselves with their heads hanging upside down over the edge of a
table with a sheet or
other drape
covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin. Place
sunglasses just below the
chin in
front of the neck for "eyes." The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is
the mouth - but upside down, so to
smile you
need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly speech or
sings a harmonious song. Several
"chin
faces" in a row can form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation:
Have the "chin face" be a chicken
instead of a
person.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Two Scouts
meet, and the first scout begins to brag he can climb anything.
Scout 1:
"Can you climb that tree?"
Scout 2
"Sure I've done it lots of times."
Scout 1
"Can you climb the steep hill over there?"
Scout 2
"No sweat, no problem for me."
Scout 1
"How about the
Scout 2
"Done it, Did it."
Scout 1
"How about Mount Everest?"
Scout 2
"Boy that was I cold day, I've done that too. I told you I am the world's
greatest climber, I can climb
anything!"
Scout 1
"I'll bet you ten bucks I can show you something that you can't
climb."
Scout 2
"Your on!"
Scout 1
pulls out a flashlight and shine the beam up into the sky "all right climb
that!"
Scout 2
"Are you crazy?
Scout 1
"I knew you would back out, now pay up!"
Scout 2
"I won't pay because its not fair. I know you, I'd start climbing and I'd
get half way and you'd turn the
flashlight
off!"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Props: A
good compass and a map
Announcer:
In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.
Scoutmaster:
Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up
and, keeping
the compass
away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination.
John, you try
that.
John : (Does
as instructed, exits, re-enters)
Scoutmaster:
(Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use
that to find
where you
are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill
top.
Other boys :
(Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)
Scoutmaster:
(After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up
tonight's compass
lesson.
There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.
Tom :
Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?
Scoutmaster:
You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Cast: Monk,
Abbot, narrator
Scene:
Abbot's office
Narrator:
This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two
words every ten
years. Our
friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years
of silence.
Abbot:
(Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk: Bad
food!
Narrator:
Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come
again to say his two
words. He of
course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly.
Abbot:
(Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk:
Uncomfortable bed!
Narrator:
Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's
time has come again to
say his two
words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty,
long, devoted years.
Abbot:
(Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk: I
quit!
Abbot: I'm
not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've done is
complain!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
The scene
takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of contagious and communicable
diseases, Dr.
Ringworm,
M.D., L.S.D., V.I.P., L.C.B. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or
books. In walks a fellow (a)
with an itch
which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and
attempts to read but is
disturbs
periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a
serious hand twitch. B sits next
to A. B
gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch.
When it has been well established
that they
have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg
twitch. Pretty soon all
three have
the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing
all over the place and
shaking
every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and
are bouncing around in
their
chairs. Then a boy dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the
other four scramble for their lives.
If possible
or desired have some jazz music playing in the background for the scouts with
the diseases to keep the
beat to.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Second
person walks in with a suitcase. First person already on stage asks where he is
going and the first
person's
reply is that he is going to court. A little while later he comes in with the
case and also a ladder. This
time he says
that he taking his case to a higher court.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Guy brought
in - "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up pebbles on the beach!" Two
or more with similar stories.
Last person
comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl, saying,
"Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an
alluring
manner.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
53. Crazy Charlie
The scene is
set up so that Crazy Charlie is portrayed as being in a mental institution.
It's dinner time and
before he
can ask for anyone to pass the meat, someone calls out 37 and the room bursts
into laughter. Moments
later 57 is
called out and more laughter results. Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him
what is going on. He is
told that
everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the jokes.
After a
while Charlie decides to give it a trial and call 52, but no one laughs; there
is complete silence. Charlie
asks his
friend what is wrong. He friend tells him not to worry that there isn't
anything wrong, some people can tell
jokes and
some people can't.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Characters:
Several Cubs around fake campfire pretending to cook hot dogs on sticks. Two
Cubs dressed as
mosquitoes--antennae,
wings etc.
Setting:
Boys around fire keep slapping as if they are being attacked by mosquitoes
throughout the skit. As
the scene
opens, the two mosquitoes enter the stage and continue walking randomly around
the boys as they
deliver
their lines.
Mosquito #1:
Hey, I got a good one! Which sport do we mosquitoes like best?
Mosquito #2:
Easy! Skin diving. Say, did you hear what the Cub Scout said to the mosquito.
Mosquito #1:
No, what?
Mosquito #2:
Don't bug me!
Mosquito #1:
Are you related to any of the bugs around here?
Mosquito #2:
Sure. My ant.
Mosquito #1:
Did you hear what the mother grasshopper said to her children?
Mosquito #2:
No -- tell me.
Mosquito #1:
Hop to it!
Cub #1:
These mosquitoes are awful! Lucky I brought the insect repellent. (Pretends to
spray air.)
(Mosquitoes
exit quickly -- choking and gagging.)
Cub #2: (To
cub #1) Say, what has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws.
Cub #1: I
don't know.
Cub #2:
Neither do I, but it's crawling up your neck.
(All boys
run screaming from stage.)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Characters:
TV reporter, 4 Cub athletes getting ready for the Cub Olympics.
Props:
Frisbee for discuss, pile for javelin, bag of cookies, toothbrush and basin of
water on stand, fake mike
for reporter
(can be dressed in suit jacket and have ID for his station on his lapel in
large letters)
TV reporter:
We're here today to interview the athletes at Pack _____ as they prepare for
the challenge of this
years Cub
Olympics. As you can imagine, it takes months of training and hard work to get
these athletes ready to
compete.
Let's see how they are preparing themselves for the big competition. (turns to
Cub #1 with microphone)
Tell me, how
are you getting ready for your event in the Olympics?
Cub #1: I'm
practicing my throw for the discus event. (demonstrates how to throw discus
using Frisbee)
TV reporter:
Great form! (turns to Cub #2) and you -- can you tell us how you are preparing
to compete?
Cub #2: I'm
polishing my javelin for the javelin throw (polishes pole with a rag.)
TV reporter:
Good luck! (turns to Cub #3) What are you doing today?
Cub #3: I'm
practicing for the standing broad jump. (does a couple of practice jumps)
TV reporter:
Fine! (turns to Cub #4) And what are you doing to train for the Olympics?
Cub #4: I'm
brushing my teeth! (uses basin of water and toothbrush --pretends to brush
teeth)
TV reporter:
Brushing your teeth! What Olympic event could you possibly be training for?
Cub #4: I'm
training for the International Olympic Cookie - Eating event! (pulls out bag of
cookies and stuffs
some in his
mouth.)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Characters:
Den leader, 3 Cub Scouts
Props: A
pile of socks on a table. Den leader sits behind table.
Den leader:
Boys, I'm pleased to announce that our new Cub Scout socks have arrived! Please
step up for
your supply
of clean socks.
Cub #1: I
need four pair.
Den leader:
What do you need 4 pair for?
Cub #1: I
need them for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.
Den leader:
O.K. Here are your socks. Next please.
Cub #2: I
need seven pair.
Den leader:
What do you need seven pair for?
Cub #2: For
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
Den leader:
O.K. here are your socks.
Cub #3: I
need 12 pairs.
Den leader:
Wow, you must really be a clean guy! So why do you need 12
pair?
Cub #3:
Well, there's January, February, March, April...etc.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Cast: 4
Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or nightgown), full uniform
Setting:
Store
#1: I'd like
to buy the Cub Shirt.
Storekeeper:
Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the
background --
"No,
you can't have it!") (Comes back with a shirt.)
#2: I'd like
to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper:
Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the
background --
"No,
you can't have them!") (Comes back with accessories.)
#3: I'd like
to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper:
Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the
background --
"No,
you can't have them!") (Comes back with pants.)
#4: I'd like
to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper:
Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the
background --
"No,
you can't have them!") (Comes back with shoes.)
Kid: (Comes
running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to Cubs without my
uniform?
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
58. Damn! (or should I say Darn?)
Cast:
Director, 2 Workers, Cameraman, Clapperman, Light Man, Soap
Setting: On
the Setting of a Movie
Director:
Okay, people! Remember what I said about the language! Action!
Clapperman:
Scene 5, Take 1!
Worker 1:
(Eating lunch with #2) You know, Gerry, the wife is always nagging me for some
more money.
And I just
don't have it.
Gerry: I
know what you mean. The (DARN) kids are always ...
Director:
Cut! What did I say about the language? You know the rules ... soap in the
mouth. (Pantomime
director
washing out Gerry's mouth with soap.) Okay, let's try that one again. And watch
the language!
Continues
the same way, but each time something happens where a different person says
"Darn" --
clapperman
gets fingers caught in clapper (don't do the whole scene over again, of
course,) cameraman trips
while
filming, light person drops light, #1 says "the darn wife ..."
Finally, the director is about to start the scene
again when
he looks at his watch.
Director: Oh
darn. Look at the time ...
Cast &
Crew: Cut! You know the rules ... (Pantomime washing out mouth with soap)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Paint faces
on the knees of the performers. Use dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the
legs as dolls with
the arms
bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real
clothing. Cover the upper legs
and body
with a sheet. Direct a flashlight (spot) onto each knee.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Cast: 2
guys, 2 bikers
Setting:
Campground
#1: Well,
time to go to bed. AND I GET THE TENT! (Beats up little guy.)
#2: But...
Oh well, it's no use. (He sets up his sleeping bag under the stars.)
Bikers:
(Make motorcycle noises & come in.) Ha! Ha! Let's beat up this guy! (They
beat up little guy.)
Next
morning,
#2: Hey! Last
night some bikers came here and beat me up!
#1: You're
just jealous that I took the tent. Be a man.
The next
night and morning, the same routine occurs, with the little guy complaining
even more. Finally, the
big guy lets
the little guy have the tent, with much ado about him being a wimp. That night,
Bikers:
(Make motorcycle noises & come in.) You know, I think we've beat up on the
guy outside enough the
past two
nights. Let's beat up the guy inside the tent tonight!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 41 through 60
Number of
Participants: 2
Scene: One
person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone
and, panicking,
gasps:
"Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Uh, (looking for a
sign), "I'm at
Elm !"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Characters:
Six Cub Scouts in summer uniform or Cub Scout T-shirts.
Scene: A
nature walk.
Props: Cub -
fashioned bouquet, with strands of ivy.
Cub 1: Gee,
Fellas. I don't think Mrs. Brown's having a very good time.
Cub 2: Well,
you didn't help things much, giving her that garter snake.
Cub 3: I was
just trying to help her collect stuff for our nature display at pack meeting.
Cub 4:
Yeah...and you heard what she said! "Nothin' ever again, that moves by
itself."
Cub 3:
So...now I know better!
Cub 5: Don't
worry about a thing, you guys. I'm gonna fix everything.
Cub 6: Yeah?
How?
Cub 5: Well,
you know how nutty women are about flowers? So, I picked her this neat bunch of
flowers...(he
holds up
bouquet, with trailing strands of ivy)... See?
Cub 6: Oh
no... (wails). We'll never get to go on another hike!
Cub 5: How
come?
Cub 6: Cause...that's
poison ivy!!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Cast:
Weakling, three or four Thugs, Old Lady, Director, Cameraman
Setting:
Street Corner Set in a Studio
Weakling: Hi
there. I'm advertising the great effects this wonderful vegetable cocktail,
V-8, has on your
stamina.
You, Sir. (To a tough looking thug.) Did you have your V-8 today?
Thug: Duh,
no. Real men don't drink V-8.
Weakling:
Sure they do. Watch! (He beats up thug.) See? I had my V-8 today!
You Sir! Did
you have your V-8 today?
Thug 2: (Has
crowbar) No, I don't need it!
Weakling:
Sure you do. (He beats up thug.) You can tell I do! And you Sir! Did you have
your V-8 today?
Thug 3: Ask
me again and I'll beat you up.
Weakling:
Heh, heh. Did you have your V-8 today? (Thug tries to beat him up, but weakling
takes care of
him no
problem.) So you see, having your V-8 is great for you.
An old lady
walks in; weakling looks puzzled, whispers to director saying he hadn't heard
about an old lady in
the script;
director says to go on and ask her anyway.
Weakling:
Excuse me, Ma'am. Did you have your V-8 today?
Old lady: As
a matter of fact, young man, I did -- and I'll prove it! (She beats him up.)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Characters:
two customers, waiter. Let actors develop actions and dialogue from the
situation
Props: table
with tablecloth, candles, menus, etc. Most important - a storybook
Two
customers enter a fancy seafood restaurant, study the menus, etc. Waiter
arrives to take orders
One customer
orders shrimp, the second says, "I'd like a lobster tail, please."
Waiter says
appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near
customer two but face
audience and
begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster...."
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 61 through 80
The secret
to success with this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You can
have one doctor and
different
patients, but it may add greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and
patient fly in and out for each
quickie.
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! I feel like a set of drapes.
Doc: Pull
yourself together!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! Am I going to die?
Doc: That's
the last thing you'll do.
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.
Doc: Next!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!
Doc: I'll
deal with you later.
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! What's wrong with me?
Doc: Have
you had this before?
Pat: Yes.
Doc: Well,
you've got it again!
Doc: You'll
live to be 80.
Pat: I am
80.
Doc: See!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! I've got insomnia.
Doc: Don't
lose any sleep over it!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis and, two weeks later,
my friend died of
heart
failure.
Doc: Don't
worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll die from appendicitis!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
First
patient comes in hiccupping and asks to see the doctor. The second patient
comes in cross-eyed, with a
silly look
on his face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery.
They are all asked to sit down.
The first
person is asked to go in. There is a real commotion and the patient comes out
fine. The same thing
happens to
the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it is time to go
home. The doctor emerges
with the
symptoms of all his patients and goes offstage.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
A person
comes to a psychologist and says that he needs help, he thinks that he is a
dog, holding up his
hands like a
dog begging. Through out the skit the person acting like a dog, does dog-like
things, like scratching
behind his
ear, whining, etc. Doctor asks how long he has had this problem. Ever since he
was a puppy is the
reply. The
doctor asks if he will lie on the couch but the person says that he can't since
he can't get on the
furniture.
Doctor's advice is to make sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing
any cars.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Cast: Two
friends, doggie doo
Setting:
Street
Two friends
are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something,
talking about a
movie or the
latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden --
John: Hey
Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like
doggie doo!
Frank:
(Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo!
John: Touch
it to see if it feels like doggie doo!
Frank:
(Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo!
John: Taste
it to see if it tastes like doggie doo!
Frank:
(Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo!
John: Well!
It's a good thing we checked and didn't walk in it!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Cast:
Director, Others in a Studio (Clapper Board, Lighting Men), Mother, Son,
Doctor, Undertaker, brooms
for the
actors
Director:
Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper:
Scene one, Take one!
The actors
play the scene without the least sign of emotion as lighting people follow and
cameraman films.
Mother is
flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.
Son: Mom, I
don't feel too well. (He collapses)
Mom: (Goes
over, looks at son.) Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to the phone, dials
making click, click,
click
sounds.) Doctor, come quick. My son's collapsed.
Doctor:
(Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's dead. I'd better call the
undertaker. (Goes to phone,
dials making
dialing sounds like Mom did.)
Undertaker,
you'd better come. I have a dead body here.
Undertaker:
(Enters and begins to measure the body.)
Director:
(Jumps up.) Cut! Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion AT
ALL! Let's
do it again. This time, give me more emotion!
Cast:
(Exiting) Right. More emotion.
Director:
Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper:
Scene one, Take Two!
The actors
redo the scene, using exactly the same words, but with great hammy histrionics.
Mom weeps
uncontrollably
throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same point as in Take One,
the Director yells,
"Cut!
Cut!"
Director:
That was better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it down.
Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper:
Scene on, Take three!
The actors
redo the scene in slow motion -- talking slowly, mowing slowly. For example,
when the telephone
is dialed it
goes click ... click ... click ... and after the doctor check's the son's
pulse, the son's hand falls slowly
back to the
floor, etc. The Director yells "Cut!" in the usual place.
Director:
That was far too slow! Let's speed it up!
This time
the actors do the scene so quickly that the son throws himself to the ground,
the doctor is there
before Mom
can hang up, and so on.
Director:
(At the same place) Cut! That was absolutely terrible! Actors? Do you call
yourselves actors!!??
Cast:
Actors? Who said anything about actors? We're the cleaners! (All pickup brooms
and exit.)
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
The Easter
Bunny is out delivering his eggs and the police arrest him for breaking and
entering a house. The
police don't
believe that he is the Easter Bunny, but finally decide to believe him and let
him go. He decides to
finish
delivering and tries to enter another house where an old lady or man accuses
him of stealing. The Bunny
says,
"Oh no, not again!" and is run off the stage by the old lady swinging
a stick or umbrella.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
The club
leader announces during the singing that he has noticed an echo in the room and
he is going to try it
out (also
could be on a hike overlooking a canyon). The following is a dialogue between
the leader and the echo -
a person out
of the room or out of sight.
Leader:
Hello
Echo: Hello
Leader:
Cheese
Echo: Cheese
Leader:
Echo:
(silence)
Leader: (to
group) It must not be working now. I'll try again. (to echo) This leader is
great.
Echo:
Return to Table of
Contents: Skits 61 through 80
A Scout
enters the campfire area, walks around and collapses to the ground. He lays
there seriously ill and
dying. Soon
another scout enters and finds the ill scout. He screams out: "There is
someone lying here!" then
the echo
effect from outside of the campfire area. Soon the scout calls out, "I
think he is ill!", echo effect. He
continues,
"I think he is very ill!" echo again. The Scout beginning to panic
screams out "He is dying" with the
echoes
responding. Finally the scout calls out "He is Dead!". But this time
the echoes respond in unison, "Its
about
time!"
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
Cast: Guide,
Tourists, Echo hidden in the bushes
Setting: A
Tour of the Countryside
You might
want to lengthen it a bit at first, to tell a more complete story, but for the
sake of brevity, you might
not.
Guide: (To
tourist group) And this over here is the famous site where John Smith first
discovered gold. Now
if you'll
follow me, we'll be going to Echo Point next. (Walks around a bit with group.)
Here it is. What makes
Echo Point
so special is that whenever you call out the name of a food, it will echo three
times. Listen. Yogurt!
(Echo:
"Yogurt! Yogurt! Yogurt!") See? Now, would anybody else like to try?
Tourist #1:
I would. Banana! (Echo: "Banana! Banana! Banana!")
Tourist #2:
Salad! (Echo: "Salad! Salad! Salad!") Hey! Neato!
Tourist #3:
I want to try. Baloney! (Echo: "Baloney! Baloney!" -- ONLY TWICE!)
Guide:
(After a pause,) That's strange -- it's never repeated a food only twice. Maybe
we should wait a
moment more.
(Pause -- nothing happens.) I'm so embarrassed. Well, I guess we should go back
to the base,
where the
food is so good!
Echo:
Baloney!
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
A boy enters
chewing gum, acting like a business man, with a briefcase etc. Walks up and
enters a elevator,
sticks gum
on the wall. A kid listening to rock & roll on his portable stereo, dances
into the elevator, leans on wall,
hands sticks
to gum. Tries hard to pull hand off the wall. The kid looks at the gum,
stretches it, picks his nose,
sneezes, etc.;
all getting on the gum. Throws the gum at the back of the elevator where it
sticks. Dumb, spacey,
jock
stereotype enter the elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to
the following places: first
head and
elevator, then head and hand, both hands, foot and both hands, both feet and
hands, hands, knees, and
hand to
face. He finally gets free and sticks gum back on side wall. Businessman enters
the elevator after the
Jock leaves,
see gum and decides to chew it again, then leaves.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
The scene
opens with an elevator operator intoning "Ground Floor". A passenger
gets on and begins to jiggle
slightly.
The elevator operator intones each floor with a description of what's on that
floor. A passenger gets on at
each floor
and begins to jiggle as well. As the elevator gets higher the passengers begin
to jiggle more. When the
top floor is
reached the passengers begin to jiggle like mad, the operator intones bathrooms
and they all rush
quickly off.
The operator suddenly looks funny, begins to jiggle, shouts "ME TOO!"
and runs off the stage.
Return to Table
of Contents: Skits 61 through 80
The scene is
an emergency room at a hospital. The Doctor is totally self absorbed, combing
hair, looking in
mirror etc.
A guy runs in, a hiker with a branch stuck in his stomach. He is screaming in
agony. the Doctor insists
that he must
ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he
is losing blood.
The doctor
continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of
house, how he got there etc.
A phone
rings and the Doctor is invited out to lunch. The Doctor runs off leaving the
wounded man writhing on the
floor. A
stupid looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the branch out. The
patient stands up, says
thanks and
leaves.